The dust hasn’t yet settled, but I have some things I want to say about this year’s presidential election.

I was scheduled to work a full day on Wednesday, so after I got home from visiting my family, I turned on channel two to see what the election results were showing thus far, thinking that it was close to midnight and I was sure the polls would be leaning one way or another.

Like many Americans, what I saw was not what I expected. I couldn’t change the channel as I texted back and forth with my boyfriend, the two of us exchanging disbelief. As 1am rolled around, I knew I had to go to bed if I expected my brain to function at all the next day. But sleep did not come easy, and at 7am, I opened Google on my phone to see what the official results were.

Like many Americans, I buried my face in my hands, and I actually cried.

There are a few things I want to make clear before I continue with my post. I was a Bern-er through and through. I’d been watching him on Bill Maher for five years and I had always been a fan of his demeanor and his ideas. To me, he was a politician who had real people in mind, and wanted things to be better for younger people than they had been when he was young. I was SO excited to see him announce his candidacy for president. Was he idealistic? Of course. Did I think he was going to be able to do absolutely everything he claimed he wanted to do? Of course not. But I was proud as fck when I bubbled in his name during the primaries.

Did I actually think he’d beat Hillary? No. But I hoped, and when he didn’t win the nomination, then I took the next option. I have never been one of the “I’m-With-Her”s. There is a lot I don’t love about her. A lot. But she had a ton of political experience. Her husband had a successful presidency, despite personal scandal, from what I learned later. I was still pretty young during Bill’s presidency. And watching the debates made her look worlds more professional, organized, and composed than Mr. Trump.

So, I experienced complete disbelief in the election results. There was no way our government was going to allow this man, who had said and done such deplorable things and who had absolutely zero political experience other than accusing President Obama of not being an American, to become our leader. How could they have let this happen? Especially when Hillary had won the popular vote, despite it being by a small margin?

When I learned more about the demographics of voters in respect to the results, I thought to myself, “Okay, what is it that I don’t know? What am I missing?” I posted a question on Facebook, asking my Republican friends what drives them to identify as Republican. While it was incredibly interesting to hear other people’s points of view and personal reasoning, it really only solidified that I didn’t really need to question myself and my choices. Some people brought up interesting points, but I’m pretty sure I will always be a Democrat. If people are going to call me a bleeding heart liberal, that’s fine with me. I’m never going to feel ashamed about having empathy for other people.

Which is why I have to write this post.

I am truly appalled at the amount of people who I’ve seen on social media mocking others for being upset about our president elect. People who post memes about how 18-year-olds stormed Normandy beaches and now they need counselors because words hurt their feelings. People who keep saying that others “need to get over it and accept what happened.” This entire “get over it; you’re just being silly; we clearly know better than you” mentality. I am really disgusted. Truly.

Let me tell you the first thing I saw when I logged into Facebook after learning about the election results: “I’m scared.” “I’m terrified.” “Truly frightening.” “What is going to happen to us?”

I wouldn’t exactly call that whining, and I wouldn’t exactly say it’s unwarranted. Some people are truly AFRAID. Let that sink in for a few minutes. They are actually afraid. It isn’t an act.

As a woman, how am I supposed to be okay with a leader who says it’s okay to sexually assault women because of who he is? I don’t CARE if you just think it was “locker room talk” or “off the record” — to me, that makes it worse, because those are his personal thoughts that he didn’t feel ashamed of announcing when he didn’t think the world was listening. I don’t CARE about explanations. It resonates ideas of rape culture, which is something human beings should never just brush away as nothing.

How should I feel when one of the first things that has been spoken about is putting pro-life judges on the Supreme Court? That work will be done to ensure birth control will no longer be covered by “Obamacare,” let alone health insurance plans? That steps will be taken to clear the marriage equality act? These are things that are important to me, as I’m sure they’re important to a lot of people, even if they don’t feel the same way as I do.

But it is senseless to me. Some people I’ve spoken to have noted that the “government gives too many handouts.” I guess I understand that sentiment…but to be honest, I would have been homeless months ago if I had not been able to accept government assistance while I was unemployed.

If women go off birth control because they can’t afford it ((would you be able to afford an extra $300 a month?)), and they know they’re not going to be able to support a child, and maybe an abortion is your last resort, but now it’s not so easy to get one, and you have to worry because maybe you don’t work full-time and if you do, you can’t afford child care and food and rent and bills, and you can’t get extra help because the government gives too many handouts….I mean, am I the only one who sees a disaster here? Am I living in a different reality? Where is the solution?

And don’t you dare say, “Well, just don’t have sex.” Because that’s unrealistic, and antiquated, and just stupid, and I’m not sorry to say it. “Well, you have to be responsible about it.” What do you think birth control is for, in that scenario? What about the people, like me, who need it for a true medical condition, on top of its intended purpose?

When is the gender wage gap ever going to be truly addressed? Why do some people view women as baby-making machines, but say that pregnancy in a business environment is inconvenient and since you’ll be taking time off, you don’t deserve to be paid as much? What about the women who have chosen not to have children? What about the people who work just as hard and harder than their counterparts? Why is there a wage gap–simply because there always has been one? We tell girls “You can be anything you want,” when it really means “You can be anything you want, as long as you’re okay with a little bit of inequality.”

This is just an example of the senselessness I see. Repealing marriage equality? Choosing to not recognize the rights of individuals who don’t identify with “traditional” gender identifications? Senseless. How is any of that anyone else’s goddamn business, when you get down to it?

There is never a situation when flag-burning is appropriate. Ever. But are people angry, and scared? Absolutely. And they have every right to be.

During the last election, I was living in Nevada. I paid close attention to the campaigning, and during one of the debates, when issues about women were being discussed and threats to some of these liberties were implied, I turned to my then-husband, and said: “Oh my god. Obama has to win again. He HAS to win again.” And it came from a place of absolute anxiety. This is not an exaggeration. It was the first time in my life when I felt like my rights and liberties as a female might actually be under an ax. It was terrifying then, and I can only imagine how people feel now.

For example, I know several people who are distraught and some even inconsolable after these results. These people identify differently than I do, and their lifestyles and life situations are very different than mine. But that does not mean I don’t understand what that feels like–to feel like you’re just trying to stay safe and live the best life you can and you need an extra set of bravery to do so. To just have a foothold on that and feel like it’s all shaking underneath you.

So, I’m sorry, but we need to stop saying people have to suck it up and get over it. It isn’t that simple; it never will be. People are scared. We need to recognize that, and stop brushing it off like something that doesn’t matter, just like many other things that are being overlooked. Here’s another newsflash: Everyone has a right to their feelings, especially when it comes to fear. People are entitled to them, and if that makes you angry, again, you need to look inward.

Here is another thing with which I take serious issue – the entire “well, this is what happened; you need to accept him as our leader.” While I understand the sentiment, and I will do my best to keep my mouth shut going forward about my personal opinions of this person, asking people to do that is so unbelievably hypocritical. For the last eight years, exactly how much respect has been given to President Obama?

A man, who while not a flawless president, has done a lot in the last eight years. Again, when people say “He’s done NOTHING, this useless guy,” I feel like I must be living in a different reality. Is there something I don’t know?

What is it that I don’t know that made it okay for me to see fake $100 bills with his face in the middle, wearing oversized sunglasses and smoking a huge joint? What made it okay to see an enormous stack of bumper stickers for sale at a rundown antique shop that said “If I knew this was going to happen, I would have picked my own cotton.”

Those aren’t feelings; that’s straight-up hatred, and I feel like mentalities like this feel justified now. This man has said awful things–this man, not the media, not the news, not the Internet–I have heard awful things from his own mouth that have insulted and offended me and my fellow citizens, but I need to show the utmost respect? Where was this mentality eight years ago?

How many children have taken their own lives because of unrelenting bullying? How much reminding do we need of this fact before it actually becomes important? We say that they should have looked for help, that we should have offered more help, that something should have been done to put them first. How is that reflected in electing a man who has been known to be a bully for YEARS?

Listen, I get it. I get it if you don’t like President Obama; if you felt like you couldn’t vote for Hillary; if you were tired of Democrats having control for the last eight years. I understand that there are a lot of things within our system that desperately need to change. I really do. I’ll be honest: If there had been a better Republican candidate, I might’ve considered voting Republican this year. But this man?

I understand that the election has been held, and there’s very little to be done about the outcome. But it isn’t just about being upset that it hasn’t resulted in my personal choice. It’s more than that – people are afraid, and they’re afraid for very good reasons, and it isn’t just one or two of them. It isn’t just a specific group of people; it’s several of them. And those people are in a complete state of uncertainty right now. Maybe none of them have anything to do with you. Maybe you’re not affected by their concerns, so you brush them aside.

But what if you were?